It’s a late night on Friday and you are tired from the grind of the work week. It’s time to dial that jump off and get your booty call on. After a minute or so of talk, she says she’ll be right over. That’s cool, chicks are hell slow at getting ready and she probably wants to get all done up with makeup and fancy lingerie. You have got plenty of time to clean up your house to not send her running when she walks through the door. You hang up and casually start putting the crap back, where it belongs. Ding. A text from her, already? “Hey I just got the cab I should be there in about 10 minutes. Can’t wait to see you 😉 “ Oh crap. This calls for drastic action.
Put Away the Clothes
Quick! All of the clothes thrown around need to be collected, it doesn’t matter if they’re dirty or clean. Get them all into a bin and put it in the closet. You can sort them later. There’s no time, man!
Where are your dishes? On the table, in the living room, in your bedroom? Well move them. If you want to look like you aren’t super tidy, then leave a few in the sink. Otherwise put them all either in the dishwasher or if you don’t have one of those then put them anywhere out of the way. The most your fling will want is a drink of water after your wild boning, so if it’s in a high cupboard or weird corner, she won’t find your stack of dirty dishes.
Take Out the Trash
If garbage has made its way around your house, grab a trash bag and throw all of that crap into it. Tuck it away into a closet if it’s not oozing or super gross. Most of the food stuff should be in your kitchen trash anyway. Be especially sure that all of it is out of your room. This is where the magic is going to happen, so it’s best if it’s clean.
Don’t Forget the Bathroom
Clean your bathroom. Chicks hate dirty bathrooms. You don’t have to scrub, but put everything in a place and check your toilet. She will be so grossed out if you have shit stains all in the rim. Just clean it quickly without getting toilet water on you and put the toilet seat down. Stock up on toilet paper on the roll, while you’re at it.
The final touch is to light some scented candles. Always keep these on hand. Chicks not only dig the clean scents like linen and fresh breeze, but it actually can make your house seem cleaner if you light them. No joke, its science.